Ilorin Through my Eyes: LORD JOSH

Hey Folks

So remember how I promised y’all that we would come through with some awesome stuff about my city, Ilorin. We have arrived!!! Today I have Lord Josh the wicked writer on the blog and I am excited about this. I really wanted to see him out of his comfort zone, which is of course, away from his computer. What does he do when he isn’t writing a heart pounding story. You can follow him on twitter @LordJoshWrites and visit his website to read some of his works made available for free. I recommend “Demons on Church Street” but you will have to buy the sequel “Double Negative” for a token. I’ve said enough. Let us hear from Josh. 

I MAYBE BE BORING BUT ILORIN ISN’T

A few weeks ago, a lady told me I looked like a boring person. Ouch!My heart should have been broken but I laughed it off. She doesn’t know me that well anyway. I completely forgot about it until a few days ago when it came up in a discussion with “The Council” (A Whatsapp group with two of my closest friends where we talk about girls, money, God, girls, Nigeria and lastly girls.)

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Unfortunately they agreed with the lady. I was declared a boring person. They tried to comfort me by saying I was fun when I was with my ‘gang’ but please, that didn’t help.

I believed them a little because these guys know me more than even my own family. If they tell me I am the President of Russia, I probably will believe them. But a part of me still thought ‘I am LordJosh, the wicked writer of delicious stories, I cannot be boring’.

Writing this article revealed to me my own ‘boringness.’

I’ve lived in Ilorin for most of my life and I love this city. A lot of people complain and call it boring but I’m not one of those people. Ilorin meets all my entertainment needs. But it turns out my entertainment needs are so minimal, any half-good city will meet them. So here I was, writing an article to prove Ilorin is not boring and you can do fun stuff here and I didn’t know where or what to write about. I blame all the hours I spent writing instead of gallivanting around town.

I may be boring but I’m still a wicked-good writer, and one of the characteristics of a good writer is good research so I called Okiki and we went out to check out where the fun happens in Ilorin.

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FAST-FOOD, ZUCKERBERG’S SECRET PASSION AND A CURE FOR LEARNED IGNORANCE.

Food is part of what constitutes fun when you’re on a day out. Right? Ilorin has some nice spots where you can get really nice food. I can’t give an extensive list and I don’t have images for everywhere but I can mention and show you a few places.

There are the obvious fast-food franchises. KFC, Chicken Republic, Tantalizers and others. Quite a number of them actually.

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KFC at Palms Mall, Ilorin

I remember when we had only Mr Biggs and everybody tried to go there at least once in a year just for the bragging rights. Lol. Ilorin was sad back then.

Apart from the fast-food guys, we have other joints.

“Fish-n-Net“ is one place you could visit. They serve good barbequed chicken, grilled fish, the whole works. They are not the only ones who do this in Ilorin but they’re one of the best.

We have our own Pizza place; Molly’s Pizza. I love this place a little extra because it is owned by a buddy of mine. Shout out to Demola Okeowo. They make great Sharwama too.

We don’t have Dominos Pizza here but who needs ‘em when you’ve got Molly’s.

We have our ‘local’ restaurants too like the legendary “Iya Yusuf” and “T & K” restaurants.

I call them local but their food is out of this world. There’s a rumour that Mark Zuckerberg snuck into Ilorin when he was in Nigeria just to eat hot Amala and Ewedu. Haters will say it’s not true.

We have a small but incredible Ice cream place.

Hatlab is proofColdStone is just ripping you Lagos people off.

Habib Yoghurt is the truth man.

And they make life-changing Fura. Their Fura has been known to cure depression. Haters, just waka pass.

I think I should mention a place we call ‘Museum.’ My Ilorin folks are smiling. We call the place museum because it is actually in the compound of the Museum. We don’t go there to learn about the past, we go there to light up the present with peppery Ponmo. If you are one of those nutritionists who say Ponmo doesn’t add any nutrients to the body, please come to Museum one time and be cured of your learned ignorance.

Now, there are a lot of places I didn’t mention, mostly because I can’t, no time. But listen, if food is what you want, we’ve got you covered. I even hear you can get dog meat if you know where to look. Did I hear you ask for tortoise meat? Please, this is Ilorin not China.

Before I close out this post, I have to ask, for my self-esteem, if you know me, even if it is just a little, do you think I am boring?

Watch out for the next post where I talk about the things you can do as a group. Oh, also, I’ll talk about how I faced one of my biggest fears;not Liverpool losing against Swansea City (my heart is still broken), but the biggest fear of all – HEIGHT.

If you had a chance to visit Ilorin, what will you like to do?Drop a comment and maybe I’ll research for you and talk about it in my next post.Or if you live or lived here, what do you do or did you do for fun?

All Images are copyright of AjalaTalesBlog except otherwise stated!

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3 Comments

  1. I’m leaving in ilorin, what I do for fun is having a nice point n kill fish @broadway while gisting with my folks…guess dats fun enough *wink*

    Like

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